


a little damaged and broken

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Post-Episode: s16e23 Lost Time, a little dark and angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 04:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18843436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: "He killed the man who killed his family. Same thing any of us would do."Ellie put her hood over her head and slipped her gloves on.Nick was right.





	a little damaged and broken

**Author's Note:**

> Let me just say..I'm not a doctor!

_He killed the man who killed his family. Same thing any of us would do._  
  
Those words repeated in her head like a broken record. She remembered responding something about in reality..how foolish she had been.   
  
Once upon a time Gibbs was so full of pain, anger, and revenge that he killed a man. A man who killed his family.   
  
Once upon a time she gave a man a choice. It wasn't directly killing him but it was enough to change her.   
  
And now here she was, standing in the dark outside a man's house with a choice of her own. To go in and go through with her plan or walk away.   
  
Pain, anger, revenge...she could feel it filling her, almost choking her. Worse than she had ever felt it before.  
  
Ellie put her hood over her head and slipped her gloves on.  
  
Nick was right.   
  
  
  
_“Hey Ellie, I got these tickets to one of those movie in the park shows-” Nick shifted on his feet in front of her desk. “I was wondering..if you wanted to come with me.”_  
  
 _Ellie tried not to show her surprise. Was he asking her out on a date? “Uh what's- what's the movie?”_  
  
 _“Actually..it's an all weekend thing.”_  
  
 _She blinked. This weekend was their official weekend off, which meant they'd be doing this without the risk of interruptions._  
  
 _“It's the Lord of the Rings movies..”_  
  
 _“You..bought tickets to screenings of a movie series you consider nerdy?”_  
  
 _“Ellie come on..” Nick sighed._  
  
 _A grin slipped onto her face. That meant she wasn't some last minute replacement date, he had bought them with the purpose of asking her knowing she loved the movies._  
  
 _“I'd love to go.”_

  
  
She sat by his side holding his hand tightly, her body was stiff but she refused to move. What she wouldn't give to feel his hand squeeze hers or to just feel it twitch.   
  
Ellie had lost count on the days that passed. Things had changed in the blink of an eye.   
  
Nick had been walking back to her apartment with their dinner taking advantage of the nice weather. He never saw the shot coming. He had fallen to the ground clutching his bleeding abdomen, not being able to fight back with his normal strength as the kicks started coming.   
  
Metro had called her after seeing her missed calls when Nick hadn't returned.   
  
Ellie hadn't even remembered the drive to the hospital. She barely remembered calling Gibbs other than her crying into the phone repeating that _Nick was hurt_ and _oh god I can't breathe._ Gibbs had called McGee who traced her phone to know which hospital, when they arrived a nurse was crouched in front of her trying to get her to calm down and breathe as she was hyperventilating.   
  
Nick was in surgery for hours, the waiting room filling with people waiting for news in the meantime from the team and Vance to Lucia and Amanda.   
  
It had been touch and go, his heart had stopped once in the ambulance and once on the table but he was alive. They just weren't sure when or if he'd wake up.  
  
His doctors rang in her head.   
  
_To be honest Agents..If Agent Torres doesn't wake up by the end of the week..I'm afraid I don't think there's a chance of him not waking at all._  
  
Tears slipped down her cheeks.   
  
“Please Nick-” She sobbed, resting her forehead on the hand she was still gripping tightly. “I can't- I can't do this without you- I'm not- god losing Qasim was bad enough but you? I'm.. I'm not strong like Gibbs..” Ellie furiously wiped at her cheeks. “You can't just..worm your way into my heart and make me fall in love with you when I tried so hard not to- just to leave me like this!”   
  
  
  
_They were getting plenty of stares even as the park was emptying out, then again they were two adults playing on the swing set._  
  
 _Ellie couldn't bring herself to care much as the wind whipped around her face and hair, her laughing ringing in the air. Nick was beside her on his own swing, grin on his face as he watched her._  
  
 _“I can't go any higher!” She said through her laughter, her heart feeling light and a happiness spreading through her that she hadn't felt in a long time._  
  
 _Nick laughed with her. “That means I win!”_  
  
 _Slowly they came to a stop, Ellie huffing. “How is it possible?! You weigh more than me, shouldn't I have gone higher?!”_  
  
 _“Okay hold up!” Nick held up his hand. “First, it's called technique babe! And Secondly, are you calling me fat?!”_  
  
 _Ellie's mouth formed an ‘o’, her eyes widened as she squealed and jumped off the swing taking off in a run. She heard Nick's swing clang against the pole as he took off after her._  
  
 _“Ellie Bishop you take that back!”_  
  
 _Her giggling filled the air as she ran around and ducked through the playground._  
  
 _Of course it wasn't long before he caught her, swinging her a little as his arms wrapped around her waist from behind._  
  
 _“I'm sorry I'm sorry!” She shouted through her laughter. “You know I meant that you weigh more because of your muscle mass!”_  
  
 _“Damn straight babe.” He growled in her ear, her laughter cutting off with a slight gasp as he bit her neck gently._  
  
 _“Nick!” Ellie scolded with a choked off laugh._  
  
 _He spun her in his arms, her arms going around his neck loosely. “Can we go back to yours now?” He asked with a slight whine._  
  
 _“Hm and why's that?” She teased._  
  
 _Nick kissed her. “I won, I want my prize.” He said against her lips._  
  
 _“Oh? We never settled on a prize.” Ellie smirked._  
  
 _His eyes sparked with amusement. “You're always my prize Ellie.”_  
  
 _“Ni-” She cut off with a squeak as he threw her over his shoulder effortlessly, walking towards the park exit. “Nick!”_  
  
 _His shoulders shook with laughter._   
  


  
Doug Hansen's body was discovered in his house, all evidence pointed to a suicide. His note talking about how he couldn't live with himself for what he'd done, and the pills in his system consistent with the same ones he had been addicted to years ago.   
  
Vance and Gibbs had quietly asked her questions with McGee standing off to the side.   
  
Ellie didn't fess up to it, but it lingered in the air that she was responsible for it even though she supposedly had an alibi. All three men shared a look but didn't push, it wasn't as if they had concrete evidence anyway.  
  
At the hospital no one noticed the glance shared between Ellie and a certain former agent who had been visiting when Nick got hurt, someone who understood perfectly and was also her alibi.   
  
Maybe later the regret and guilt would eat her alive but as she sat back down beside Nick once again taking his hand in hers, she felt empty.   
  
“I'm back.” She whispered, thumb running along his hand. “I was thinking last night, of the first time you said you loved me..” Ellie smiled a sad broken smile. “I don't know what I'll do if I can't hear you say it again..”

  
  
_Ellie stormed into her apartment throwing the door closed behind her that Nick stopped with his hand before it slammed shut. He on the other hand was nothing but calm as he quietly shut the door._  
  
 _“You're so..” She threw her hands up in frustration. “Infuriating!”_  
  
 _Nick stood across from her, face showing nothing as he stared at her._  
  
 _“You had no reason to punch Boyd!” She shouted. “I'm dating you, you idiot in case you've forgotten! He was just being friendly by inviting me out to lunch, we mutually ended things months ago!”_  
  
 _Nick still didn't say a word, face still blank._  
  
 _“Would you say something!” A frustrated noise left her. “You've been jealous before but you never punched someone what the hell is-”_  
  
 _“I love you.”_  
  
 _Her breath left her._  
  
 _“W-What?” Ellie said sounding breathless._  
  
 _He stepped closer, his hands coming up to cup her face with his eyes searching hers. “I got angry and more jealous than usual because last night, I was watching you on the phone with your mom before coming to bed..and I realized that I love you.”_  
  
 _A choked sound left her. “Y-You do?”_  
  
 _Nick nodded, letting his lips brush against hers. “I do.”_  
  
 _“Say it again.” She whispered, voice cracking._  
  
 _His lips lifted. “I love you.”_  
  
 _Gripping the collar of his shirt tightly, she yanked him towards her closing that small distance as their mouths crashed together._  
  
 _Ellie stepped backwards, leading him towards her bedroom._  
  
 _“I love you too.” She said softly, right before he lowered her onto the bed._  
  
 _Hovering over her, his thumb gently moved across her cheek. “Say it again.”_  
  
 _Ellie laughed happily. “I love you too Nick.”_  
  
 _He groaned and kissed her again._  
  
 _All her anger left her and Boyd was completely forgotten as she willingly drowned in everything that was Nick._   
  


  
Nick never was one to follow the rules.  
  
Usually it aggravated her, but this time she couldn't be happier for it.   
  
That dreaded week had ended and turned into another week and Ellie tried her hardest to hold onto her hope but the longer he went without waking the chance became less and less.  
  
But Nick two weeks after that, had woken.  
  
He had been confused and groggy but he woke up.  
  
Ellie had collapsed into Gibbs’ arms sobbing in relief.   
  
“Don't keep it from him.” Gibbs had whispered in her ear. “Tell him the truth.”  
  
And so when he was able to sit up by himself and stay awake for longer than an hour, Ellie spilled.  
  
She told him about planning it, Tony helping, all the emotions she felt that were slowly choking her, how he had begged but she felt nothing but anger, and how she walked away without feeling an ounce of guilt.  
  
“Guess I can't consider myself one of the good guys anymore.” She had whispered in the dark hospital room, the only sounds being the beeping from machines, shuffles from the nurses on the night shift out in the hall walking by, and their breathing.   
  
Nick gripped her hand tightly, just like she had wished he'd do many times before. “I'm not so good myself Ellie, we can grab Gibbs and form a club.”  
  
Although a serious situation, she couldn't help the small chuckle from escaping.   
  
His face turned serious. “It's gonna hit you later, and hard, but I'm not going anywhere if I can help it.”  
  
She sniffled, her eyes tearing up. “I'm not ‘big hearted Bishop’ anymore.”  
  
Nick rolled his eyes, yanking on her hand to pull her onto his hospital bed. Ellie fit perfectly in the small open space as she curled against him carefully. “Doesn't change anything for me babe.”  
  
Ellie tilted her head up to look at him. “But I-” her voice dropped to barely a whisper. “I killed someone!”   
  
Nick ran his hand through her hair, still looking at her with love in his eyes. “We've all done terrible things.” He whispered roughly. “I have a lot of skeletons in my closet that you don't know about Ellie, one day I'll tell you them all but for now trust me when I say what you did..doesn't change how I feel about you in the slightest.”  
  
“I need to hear it.”   
  
“Eleanor Raye Bishop.” Nick said staring into her eyes. “I love you, and that won't be changing.”  
  
A weight in her chest lifted at hearing him say the words she feared she'd never hear again.   
  
With her cheeks still wet from her tears, she put her hands on his face and kissed him. Nick sighed happily against her lips.   
  
  
  
What she did would haunt her for years to come, but Nick like he said never left and in time she learned about those skeletons in his closet. They were both a little damaged and broken, but they filled each other's empty spots those broken pieces had left behind.   
  



End file.
